Let's Work Together
I will guide you to reprogram your nervous system and brain so you can find greater regulation and empowerment in your parenting journey.
2 Ways We Can Work Together
FREE EBOOK + VIDEO SERIES: 7 STEPS TO REGULATED & RESILIENT PARENTING with your highly reactive, hypersensitive, high needs child
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Regulated & Resilient Parenting for the highly reactive, hypersensitive, high needs child.
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More Information About The One-on-One Coaching Process:
The work I do with mothers is to become aware of what's getting triggered inside in the face of your child's behaviors and heal that programming so that you can show up as the mother you want to be with your child.
In the process of this work, we are rewiring your nervous system and brain towards greater calm, presence and resilience to handle the challenges that come up with your child/children.
I do this work with a few different tools, including:
1. Psychoeducation on understanding the nervous system/brain and chronic stress and trauma and how to better regulate the nervous system and brain. By learning to regulate your nervous system and calm your survival parts of your brain, your child's brain and nervous system learns to regulate too.
2. Therapeutic modalities like Havening (a psychosensory approach that helps de-encode/de-link emotional encoding of the past so that it doesn't get triggered in the present) and I also use some parts work (with a therapy called Internal Family Systems).
These tools help us to target past (mostly childhood) wounds (or encodings) that cause us to react today to our kids and heal/change the emotional encoding of them as well as the beliefs that get encoded that drive our reactions today (eg. beliefs like "kids must listen to their parents", "parents need to have control over their kids", "anger is bad", etc.).
You can find more info about Havening here https://www.havening.org/about-havening/overview
You can find more info about Internal Family Systems (IFS) here
3. Using the power of neuroplasticity with Havening to rewire the brain towards greater resilience.
Here we work on building new pathways in the brain and nervous system that are aligned with who you want to be as a parent.
As you build/enhance these pathways, you have more choice available to you in how to respond vs. react. We will do some of this work together in session as we wire in new ways of being and you will be doing this work on your own to develop and build the qualities of presence, calm, responsiveness, compassion as well as joy, delight, confidence and other qualities you want to have on your parenting journey.
These will be small do-able exercises that you can easily build into your busy days.
4. Coaching on tools/tips to help with your child's behavioral challenges.
Although much of the work we will do will be to heal the reactions happening inside of you (as this is the biggest bang for your buck in terms of helping your child change their behaviors), I can also suggest things you can do to develop a foundation of safety, trust and deeper connection with your child (as this is what helps behaviors immensely!) and problem solve on how to handle specific situations to help them downgrade their reactions and get more cooperation.
I have done a lot of training on childhood behaviors and how to work with them including Dr. Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, Dr. Stuart Shanker's Self-Reg, Dr. Mona Delahooke's Beyond Behaviors work, Dr. Stanley Greenspan DIR/Floortime, Studio 3's Low Arousal Approach, Dr. Gordon Neufeld’s Attachment Model, PDA Autism Training, and more.
All the above work includes developing an understanding that there is YOU (your true self) and YOUR PROGRAMMING. You are NOT your programming. At the core of who you are, you are whole, complete and have the qualities you want to bring forth in your parenting journey but they are just clouded and covered up by the survival programming that has become activated.
Within this survival programming is also the inner critic and habits of being hard on yourself. We incorporate the work of self compassion in this work too as it is of utmost importance to develop a resilient nervous system that can handle the ups and downs of parenting a child with hypersensitivity with more ease.
RECOMMENDED NUMBER OF SESSIONS:
Please keep in mind that change takes time. It took years to create the mind/body patterns of survival reactions, and although it may not take years to get to a place of better regulation and empowerment, it does take time to change the patterns and create a shift in your survival system.
We can only go as fast as your nervous system and subconscious mind allows.
Given the above, I recommend a minimum of 6 sessions to get you on your path to better emotional health.
Below is a link to my coaching packages so you can see how my fees work.Coaching Fees
I invite you to tune into your inner guidance system and ask if this is the right next step for you to create the change you're looking for. If so, then please email me at [email protected] to book a free consult call.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
What is the difference between your coaching and therapy?
What is a typical session like?
Do you provide coaching session in person?
Before working with Afshan I didn't have the words to identify what or why I was feeling the way I was both internally and also in the overwhelm of parenting. After working with Afshan I can now better identify signs of my own dysregulation. This has helped me parent with less explosions. But what I also found huge value in, is rather than having the same explosions when they do creep up, I now sit with them for what they were and then focus on my choice point to change the trajectory. What I like about Afshan is her voice and ability to break down the information she is sharing in a way that just makes sense. She has helped me understand a whole new perspective of my kids, husband, and really the world around me. I feel like I made HUGE progress throughout my time with Afshan. Her teachings are still with me everyday. The whole family benefited from my time with her. I spread the word about her every chance I get! For one, she has the best voice! She is also very organized and was able to keep us focused throughout our sessions. I found the way she teaches was very digestible and in return it made it "easy" to implement. I would highly recommend her because of the lived transformation I had working with her!
Before coaching with Afshan, I was challenged with knowing how to calm down my daughter when she would have constant tantrums. It was very draining, disheartening, and I felt powerless and like an incompetent parent because I wasn't able to help her, or to regulate my own emotions. After Coaching With Afshan, I have very specific tools that I can use to bring my nervous system down. She also offered me many insights and changes in perspective, which I found immensely valuable. Afshan was very kind, compassionate, understanding, and had a ton of knowledge and experience relating to children with high needs. Not only is she able to teach you how to manage the difficulties you may be facing, she is also able to offer you specific paths to look into that you may not have thought about. I truly feel like a more capable mother after working with Afshan :)
In coaching with Afshan, within 6 sessions, I definitely feel I have come a long way in terms of staying calm and being less angry. My children and husband have noticed and recognized when I *would* have “exploded” in the past, but am now holding it together better. I used to think that “Staying calm/being less angry” were two sides of the same coin, but now I see them as more separate: I think now I can get angry about something and not let it overflow into things unrelated and as a result of that I am more calm. Now I am more “in the moment” with my interpersonal in-home relationships and can deal with conflict better. I think my biggest (emotional) obstacle was getting a hold on my anger issues. All the other things have progressed because that anger is not as ever-present as it was. Afshan’s ability to listen with an understanding heart, making it feel like a safe place to share my conscious and unconscious thoughts, and following up with emails and suggestions on how to deal with complicated feelings between sessions helped me to feel heard and like I mattered.
The way that Afshan has helped me to get out of my own way has been nothing less than incredible. I'm pretty uptight and keep-things-to-myself still, and Afshan was able to really gain my trust -- fast. I could tell that she'd walked the walk and was so dedicated to helping others be more free from the emotional burdens that hold us back. I loved it that coaching sessions with her never added complexity or "layers" of further problems to weigh me down. She was the compassionate, clear guide to help me more fully relate to myself in ways that integrated (previously stressed-out) parts of my experience into the whole of who I am. We could dig deep without coming anywhere at all near the risk of emotional overwhelm and end sessions with new lightness and joy. I was especially touched by how above-and-beyond committed and utterly thorough she was in meeting me where I am and seeing me through the process. After just two sessions, I could write her saying, "I cannot even quite imagine why what used to fill me with such dread and sinking feeling could have been so stressful before!"