3 Shifts to Make During Your Child's Meltdown
Stay calmer in your child's meltdown, without holding it in until you snap or crash.
- For the parent who keeps snapping, and then drowns in guilt
- For the parent who holds it all together, and is wiped out afterwards
Watch each shift done in real time, then practice it with me. Plus a simple 4-step formula for triggered moments, and bonus lessons on sibling conflict and what to do after the meltdown.
Yes! I want the video series for $27$27 for now, going up to $47 soon Β· Instant access Β· Watch one video at a time
MELTDOWNS IN OUR HOME WENT FROM
5 hours a day to about 30 minutes, once a week
"I feel empowered now to be able to support myself outside of hard moments, during them, and after them. I have a road map now to work with my body instead of against it. My responses during meltdowns have shifted overall."
K.M., 3 Shifts Video Series
Notice yourself in this?
You hold it in, and hold it in, until you snap.
SHIFT 1
Stop holding it in, and form a new pattern of safety, so you can be with the energy and let it move.
You hold it all together and look calm, and you're wiped out afterwards.
SHIFT 1
It's the same pattern of holding it in, so you practice being with that energy in the moment, before it piles up into exhaustion.
You fight what's happening: not again, not now, this shouldn't be happening.
SHIFT 2
Practice allowing what is and letting go of the fight with reality, because resisting what's in front of you adds to your stress load.
In the moment, your child feels like the problem.
SHIFT 3
Help your mind stop seeing your child as the problem, and shift to a truer meaning.
A sibling is in the middle of it, and you can't help both at once.
BONUS: SIBLING CONFLICT
How your trigger loop and the 4-step formula play out in a sibling conflict, with keeping everyone safe first.
After the storm, you get busy with the next thing, and the stress just stays in your body.
BONUS: AFTER THE MELTDOWN
Help your body come fully back down, release the stress load and complete the stress cycle, because so much burnout builds when that stress never fully leaves your body.
The 3 Shifts
In our child's meltdown, three things usually happen inside us.
These 3 patterns keep us stuck in survival, adding to our stress load, and they can eventually lead us to blow up or burn out. Each shift works with one of them.
PATTERN 1
We hold it in
Some of us hold it, and hold it, try to stay calm, and then snap. Others of us get through it looking like we're okay, in pretend calm, and over months and years it turns into exhaustion and burnout.
SHIFT 1
Feel and regulate your body
Be with the fight or flight energy and let it move, instead of clamping down on it.
PATTERN 2
We resist what's happening
When our child triggers us, we resist what's happening in them, because we're attached to how this moment should go, or how they should be.
SHIFT 2
Allow, and drop the expectation
Let go of the fight with what is, so resisting what's in front of you stops adding to your stress load.
PATTERN 3
Our child looks like the problem
We want to see our child as having a hard time, but in that moment, our brain tells us they are the problem.
SHIFT 3
Reframe to a truer meaning
Help your mind see a child who is overwhelmed, with a body-mind based tool that shifts the mind faster than an affirmation can on its own.
Then the 4-step formula, Aware, Allow, Regulate, Re-pattern, ties all three together, so you have one thing to remember in the moment.
What can change when you practice the shifts
You catch the activation before it becomes an explosion or a shutdown, because you've felt what it's like in your own body, not just read about it.
You can stop fighting reality in the middle of a meltdown, because you've practiced dropping the expectation, not just heard the idea.
You can see your child differently in the moment, because you've practiced the reframe enough times that it's there for you when it counts.
You have one formula, Aware, Allow, Regulate, Re-pattern, instead of scattered ideas you're trying to remember under stress.
What's inside
- Understand Your Trigger Loop, Deeper: your trigger loop, and the 3 patterns that lead you to explode or disconnect during your child's meltdown.
- The 3 Shifts, Practiced With Me: all three shifts, practiced in real time alongside me.
- The 4-Step Formula: Aware, Allow, Regulate, Re-pattern, shown start to finish in one real moment.
- Bonus, Sibling Conflict: the loop and the formula in action, safety first.
- Bonus, After the Meltdown: coming fully back down, so the stress doesn't build into burnout.
- If This Was Hard For You: what it means, and what to work on next.
- Printable Quick-Reference Card: the 4 steps on one page.
Also included: the 3 Shifts guide, a printable companion to the videos.
MEET YOUR GUIDE
I'm Afshan Tafler β a trauma-informed, neuroscience-based Nervous System Resilience coach, and host of The Regulated Parent podcast.
I'm also a parent myself β to a child, now a teen, who is autistic with PDA, OCD, and anxiety. This work isn't just what I teach. It's what I've had to learn to survive and thrive in my own home.
I've helped hundreds of parents of high-needs, hypersensitive, PDA, autistic, and ADHD kids move from chronic reactivity to real regulation β through my signature course, The Regulation Rebuild, and everything I teach here.
I built this because understanding what to do was never the missing piece for me either. Practicing it was. Feeling it in my body was. Helping my brain and body work together, and feel safety during the storms, was.
Worked With
And Featured in:
What Parents Say About Afshan's Teachings
"Afshan has created a trail guide for those of us who are lost in the thickets of parenting to compassionately guide us back to sanity. I use the tools I have learned multiple times throughout the day and honestly, things have changed immensely."
"Before I started the course, I thought I needed to stay perfectly calm to be a good parent... they could immediately sense the 'fake calm'... Now, it's like so many things have clicked into place in my understanding. I understand that there's nothing wrong with me, and my nervous system is doing exactly what it developed to do. And knowing that, I don't have to be a slave to my nervous system, but I can befriend it, allow it, and work alongside it."
"I went from feeling bewildered and burnt out to competent and curious."
"This course was a lifesaver and is giving me real strategies to use every day even when the parenting is still hard."
START TODAY
3 Shifts to Make During Your Child's Meltdown
The complete video series, 11 videos, plus the 3 Shifts guide
For now
$27
Going up to $47 soon
Get Instant AccessBefore You Ask
I'm exhausted. I don't have time for another course.
I've tried tools like this before and they didn't stick. Why is this different?
Do I need to already be good at feeling into my body?
If I allow what's happening, won't I become permissive?
What if my child's meltdowns involve aggression or hurting a sibling?
Will this make my child's meltdowns stop?
Can I get a refund?
You Don't Have to Be a Perfect Parent. You Can Become One Who Feels Safe Enough, Even in the Hard Moments With Your Child.
You already are the parent who looks for help instead of giving up.
Get the Video Series for $27